Bullies have always been a major part of life; both in school and sometimes even at work. Thankfully adult bullying in the workplace is much easier to counteract compared to when it happens to children at school. There are technically three different types of bullying in school that tends to be severe enough to cause actual harm and you will be surprised which of the three is actually the most harmful.
Predator: First lets start off with the stereo-typical bullying. We all know this one; the bigger kid might throw a couple comments at the smaller kid, takes his lunch money and maybe pushes him into a locker then moves on until next time or the next day. Usually this type of bully is not the kind that wants to fight and is not actually looking to cause serious harm. The first method of dealing with this is let an adult in the office know about this. Notice that I said “in the office“. That’s right; because its very rare that telling a general teacher of any kind is going to accomplish much due to lack of authority compared to the administration staff. A teacher might generally really care about the incidents but can only do so much as their schedule is usually so hectic with teaching classes, grading papers and making sure their own students are kept in line during class. Second method of dealing with this bully (as last resort) is to provide real physical resistance, even if you have to hurt the person. 99% of the time; that bully will back off and go to someone else if not caught or disciplined by the school.
Aggressor: This is the type that is actually dangerous and looking for physical confrontation. Most of the time these type of students will move on to someone else if their target is not as willing to be in a physical conflict as they are. The challenge with this is that if you’re (assuming you are the student) willing to fight with them, even reluctantly; it probably wont solve anything. The options here are to attempt to let the aggressor know that you’re not worth their effort (even if you secretly are worth it). That way; the aggressor will lose interest and move on to someone else. There is always a possibility that this aggressor might not like the person they’re picking on and will try to legitimately fight them for whatever reason. Keep in mind; that particular scenario can still be avoided by heading to the office and discussing that with the office staff. Usually a fight will break out when both parties involved in this scenario indirectly agree to it.
Loud Mouth: For lack of a better word…..The Loud Mouth is a legitimate name for this type of bully. They’re usually around their friends or many other unbiased students when they will start to verbally harass and bully someone in a very loud manner to where everyone around can hear them. Sometimes when something is said enough times; even unbiased students will begin to start saying the same things or believe what was originally said; even if they don’t really have a clue what’s going on. They crave attention, want to make people laugh and don’t care who pays the price..as long as its not themselves, and might not care if they cause a fight. This is by far; the most harmful of the three. This reason I say that is because most schools (if not all) don’t view any type of verbal bullying to be a justifiable excuse to start a physical confrontation, regardless of what is being said. With this type of bully; usually talking with staff, teachers, etc. doesn’t resolve the issue. Why? There’s no real straight-forward answer here. Those reasons listed above are what make this type of bullying severe. It can build up to emotional and mental stress that can lead to serious issues for the student being bullied, their family and maybe even other students in the school if there is a breaking point. What can you do? There are only two options here that won’t have additional consequences:
1st: Make up witty remarks; often known as “comebacks” to say towards the bully. Eventually they will tire out and go pick on someone else.
2nd: If the witty remarks do not work, telling the teacher in the class in a certain way that will embarrass the bully often can solve the issue.
3rd: If all else fails; you’re left with one last option before it becomes an all-out physical conflict: talk to the bully without anyone else around. you’ll be surprised when they talk to you like you’re just another regular student since there’s no one else around to make laugh or to help make the bully “look cool”.
Hopefully this short article has been helpful. Although we don’t condone violence; we understand how it can be necessary to use physical intervention to combat and deal with bullying. This is why SDG also does provide self defense training to teens as well as adults.
(photos courtesy of Healio and unm.edu)